I've never watched The Exorcist and I never will. Unfortunately, however, recently I did watch Paranormal Activity. OMG.
Demonic movies scare me. Give me vampires, werewolves, zombies and aliens. They don't scare me because they don't exist. Demons exist. And their sole purpose is to do the work of the Great Deceiver.
On a side note, I do feel incredibly uncomfortable watching movies that don't offer any hope or redemption or movies that ignore God's perspective on who we are in Him; in Christ.
So...back to portals. I believe absolutely and without question that there are "portals" in our lives that invite the demonic influence. But I also know without question that the "demonic" does not always look "demonic"--as portrayed in movies and print. The Enemy is very clever and very insidious. He can make something that is very destructive seem very harmless and enticing.
Lets see if I can define what I see as a portal. A portal is anything we have in our lives that does not honor God, draws our attention away from God, or is a distraction from God and which allows the Enemy to seep in and begin to steal, kill and destroy relationship with God, family and friends. Excesses, addictions, pornography are a few I can think of just off-hand.
I know someone who bought an i-pad. That #%@# i-pad has become this person's obsession (portal). Instead of spending time with their family, friends or even just with himself/herself, this person spends every waking moment doing something with that #%@# i-pad. To me, that's an obvious addiction--distraction--from God, family and friends. I know because I've been affected by this person's devotion to their #%@# i-pad. I miss them. I miss what used to happen between us before the i-pad. We used to talk. We used to solve the world's problems. We used to just enjoy each others company. I've been robbed. And here comes the "insidious" part of it. This person has no idea what's happened. I'm not sure they WANT to know. And there you have it. Spending time with that #%@# i-pad seems harmless and fun to them...after all...they're still in your presence, still hanging out, still "available", but THEY'RE NOT!!! The Enemy has infiltrated and stolen, killed and destroyed relationship. That's his goal, his aim, his purpose. I will confront this person eventually--after I'm done being mad. And that too is in the Enemy's design. Aaaaaaargg!
Recognize the portals and close them.
Thursday, June 30, 2011
Can This Marriage Be Saved?
Is divorce ever okay among Christians? The Bible says that infidelity is certainly a good enough reason. And I think most would agree that an abusive situation would also qualify as a reason for ending a marriage. Be it physical, emotional, or psychological abuse, they're all good enough reasons to hit the road if professional or spiritual remedies haven't been sought or worked.
I know a couple in deep trouble. And I believe each of them is equally responsible for the shape their marriage is in. But I also believe that if they seek help, it can and will work. With God, ALL things are possible. But this marriage hasn't known the Lord in any kind of consistent way. They've dabbled in it. And I've noticed that when they dabble in it, their marriage improves noticeably. But the spiritual awakening needed in this marriage has never taken root. I certainly do not judge them or fault them. Young marrieds are generally so busy just trying to stay afloat with all the junk that life brings that the spiritual realm is not properly fleshed out and experienced. And, it doesn't help that these precious young people weren't really raised in a Christian environment. There was certainly exposure to it on both sides, but never any depth experienced. So, they need to learn it. And they need to start from scratch. Each of them must take ownership of their failures, selfishness, and unwillingness to love sacrificially. Ron and I had to do that in order to get this marriage back on track. It wasn't easy, but we did it. And we continue to do it. We always will because our "flesh" is constantly at war with our Spirit.
To any couple experiencing the possibility of divorce I would urge you to please seek help. Get to a pastor who will ask the right questions, and make you accountable for your actions and non-actions. Surround yourself with Christian community who will also "be there" for you and hold you accountable. No excuses. You cannot make this work on your own. You're on the brink. If you truly want this marriage to last; if you truly want your children to never experience the heartache and devastation of divorce then you must seek help. And probably most important of all, be willing to take a hard look at yourself and make the necessary changes. You cannot change your spouse, but you can change YOU. Be willing to look at what you've done to destroy the love, inhibit the spirit, and doom the union. Stop looking at your mate as the reason for the failure. Look at yourself -- because you're at least half the problem.
In return, and in time, I know that you will experience a love so dramatically different, so powerfully deep and so incredibly huge that you will bow in awe to The One who called you to this union. I know this to be true. You are God's gift to each other. And His gifts surely should not be rejected. My heart swells with joy and awe at what God has done in my own heart regarding my marriage. I am eternally grateful for what God abolished in me and replaced it with. It's better than anything I could have come up with on my own or in my own will. His ways are simply better.
If you do not seek help, your marriage is doomed to more of the same. Do you really want that? And if you think you can do it on your own...well...you're fooling yourselves. Been there; done that. You can't. And if you cannot see submitting your marriage to God, ask yourself this: have you done any better of a job on your own? Has your own way worked? Give your Creator a try. He's standing ready.
I know a couple in deep trouble. And I believe each of them is equally responsible for the shape their marriage is in. But I also believe that if they seek help, it can and will work. With God, ALL things are possible. But this marriage hasn't known the Lord in any kind of consistent way. They've dabbled in it. And I've noticed that when they dabble in it, their marriage improves noticeably. But the spiritual awakening needed in this marriage has never taken root. I certainly do not judge them or fault them. Young marrieds are generally so busy just trying to stay afloat with all the junk that life brings that the spiritual realm is not properly fleshed out and experienced. And, it doesn't help that these precious young people weren't really raised in a Christian environment. There was certainly exposure to it on both sides, but never any depth experienced. So, they need to learn it. And they need to start from scratch. Each of them must take ownership of their failures, selfishness, and unwillingness to love sacrificially. Ron and I had to do that in order to get this marriage back on track. It wasn't easy, but we did it. And we continue to do it. We always will because our "flesh" is constantly at war with our Spirit.
To any couple experiencing the possibility of divorce I would urge you to please seek help. Get to a pastor who will ask the right questions, and make you accountable for your actions and non-actions. Surround yourself with Christian community who will also "be there" for you and hold you accountable. No excuses. You cannot make this work on your own. You're on the brink. If you truly want this marriage to last; if you truly want your children to never experience the heartache and devastation of divorce then you must seek help. And probably most important of all, be willing to take a hard look at yourself and make the necessary changes. You cannot change your spouse, but you can change YOU. Be willing to look at what you've done to destroy the love, inhibit the spirit, and doom the union. Stop looking at your mate as the reason for the failure. Look at yourself -- because you're at least half the problem.
In return, and in time, I know that you will experience a love so dramatically different, so powerfully deep and so incredibly huge that you will bow in awe to The One who called you to this union. I know this to be true. You are God's gift to each other. And His gifts surely should not be rejected. My heart swells with joy and awe at what God has done in my own heart regarding my marriage. I am eternally grateful for what God abolished in me and replaced it with. It's better than anything I could have come up with on my own or in my own will. His ways are simply better.
If you do not seek help, your marriage is doomed to more of the same. Do you really want that? And if you think you can do it on your own...well...you're fooling yourselves. Been there; done that. You can't. And if you cannot see submitting your marriage to God, ask yourself this: have you done any better of a job on your own? Has your own way worked? Give your Creator a try. He's standing ready.
Tuesday, June 28, 2011
Submission
I think that when most of us see the word "submission" we get an immediate gut check. Out of any kind of context, it's a negative word. And to "those who are perishing" The Word's words on this subject may evoke some really nasty feelings. But only because it's so terribly misunderstood.
Funny story I tell on myself. When I first began to seek the Lord and be in The Word, I was reading in Ephesians, 1 Corinthians, Colossians, 1st Peter and elsewhere about "wives and husbands". I had not yet met Ron, was independent and proud of it, but was praying that God would bring a godly man into my life. I'd been a single mom for 12 years and I needed help finishing raising my kids. They were quite the handful at the time. And I was lonely for male companionship. Anyway, I was coming across all these scriptures about wives needing to be "submissive" to their husbands. Ya, ya...it said stuff about the husbands "loving" their wives, but that whole submission thing was a little much for me. So, I took my yellow highlighter and began crossing out those verses. Yep, just crossed 'em out. I even wrote, "what nonsense" next to them. Angry, divorced woman went nuts with her highlighter. Internal dialogue was something like, "Sorry, God, you got this one W-R-O-N-G. It's an OLD book with outdated ideas about the roles of men and women in marriage. Surely if the bible were written TODAY, this is NOT how You would have ordained it. Old, outdated information." Please keep in mind, I was just a baby Christian. I thought I was pretty smart, savvy and in tune with what being a Christian was about. Hm.
In the almost 9 years I've been married and 12 years of being a Christian, my thinking has certainly changed. I'm picturing my non-christian girlfriends reading this now and going..."Oh boy...here it comes...think it's time to shut this down." Please don't. Hear me out.
A non-christian friend at work recently asked me what the whole submission thing was about. She'd been to a wedding shower where there were a lot of "religious people". The subject of submission came up and one Christian woman said to the young bride-to-be, "Christian wives must submit to their husbands." As she told me this, my friend got that look on her face that made her look like she'd just taken a bite of something bitter and tart. But she was ASKING! And I saw before me an opportunity to share my faith and to show this friend what God's beautiful plan for marriage really looks like.
The first thing that came out of my mouth was that she needed to understand what submission means in God's eyes. And basically, in a 45 minute discussion, what God gave me to give her was this: In a Christian marriage, where the Lord is First and Foremost, and the husband is following the Lord to the best of his abilities, then why would I fear submitting to this godly man? If this man's first priority is the Lord God Almighty, if this man is seeking God's wisdom, courage, grace and mercy, if this man prayerfully considers all decisions and has MY best interests at heart, then why would I not want to submit to that authority with alacrity? It's a win-win situation. I also explained that being submissive does not mean being a doormat, and that most decisions in Christian households are mutually arrived upon. I admitted that submission is not always easy and that sometimes it's almost impossible based on where I am with God. My flesh cries out for recognition and advancement and submission is sometimes a daily fight. I tried very hard not to get "religious" on her because I know that's an immediate door-shutter. She listened. As I spoke, I prayed that God would give her ears to hear what HE had to say on the subject. I also explained that husbands and wives are submissive to one another and that that was the beauty of mutual submission--we prayerfully consider each other as more important than ourselves and love sacrificially. And that THAT kind of love produces all kinds of really awesome responses and feelings.
I must be very honest and say that I continue to struggle with complete submission to my husband. He's flawed, sometimes irreverent, and battles many demons of his own. And I can say that exact sentence about myself. And I've admitted before that I'm a manipulator and withholder-of-love-and-affection if Ron doesn't perform to my expectations. And I'm WORKING so hard on that. Because I really and truly HATE that about myself. But in the last couple years of my marriage, God has shown me what this particular kind of love looks like and He's extended me so much mercy and grace while I fumble along and screw up. And that same mercy and grace should be Ron's from ME as he fumbles along and screws up.
So while the word "submission" sounds out-of-date, old fashioned and just plain scary, the truth is that when it's done in faith to a man who loves Jesus, it's about the most extreme expression of love and trust there is. If you know me at all, you know I've battled with my feminist leanings as I've grown in the Lord. I don't for one minute feel I'm a doormat, a lesser person, a thing of no consequence. I am a bride of Christ, He lives in me and that makes me pretty damn special. I do not feel like I've given up anything in understanding my role as a wife. Quite the opposite...I've expanded my horizons hugely. And Ron has taught me sooooooo much!
Ron has amazed me and humbled me. He has soared the heights lately and been my rescuer and comforter in some very difficult situations. He has taken up the mantle of leadership and absolutely WOWED me. Now there's a guy I can entrust my heart, mind, soul and body to. But the secret here is that I learn to love him even when he backslides and reverts. I get very scared when that Ron shows up, but I trust that God will continue to point us both toward Him--thereby taking the focus off of each other while we mutually submit to a God that is truly concerned about marriage.
Funny story I tell on myself. When I first began to seek the Lord and be in The Word, I was reading in Ephesians, 1 Corinthians, Colossians, 1st Peter and elsewhere about "wives and husbands". I had not yet met Ron, was independent and proud of it, but was praying that God would bring a godly man into my life. I'd been a single mom for 12 years and I needed help finishing raising my kids. They were quite the handful at the time. And I was lonely for male companionship. Anyway, I was coming across all these scriptures about wives needing to be "submissive" to their husbands. Ya, ya...it said stuff about the husbands "loving" their wives, but that whole submission thing was a little much for me. So, I took my yellow highlighter and began crossing out those verses. Yep, just crossed 'em out. I even wrote, "what nonsense" next to them. Angry, divorced woman went nuts with her highlighter. Internal dialogue was something like, "Sorry, God, you got this one W-R-O-N-G. It's an OLD book with outdated ideas about the roles of men and women in marriage. Surely if the bible were written TODAY, this is NOT how You would have ordained it. Old, outdated information." Please keep in mind, I was just a baby Christian. I thought I was pretty smart, savvy and in tune with what being a Christian was about. Hm.
In the almost 9 years I've been married and 12 years of being a Christian, my thinking has certainly changed. I'm picturing my non-christian girlfriends reading this now and going..."Oh boy...here it comes...think it's time to shut this down." Please don't. Hear me out.
A non-christian friend at work recently asked me what the whole submission thing was about. She'd been to a wedding shower where there were a lot of "religious people". The subject of submission came up and one Christian woman said to the young bride-to-be, "Christian wives must submit to their husbands." As she told me this, my friend got that look on her face that made her look like she'd just taken a bite of something bitter and tart. But she was ASKING! And I saw before me an opportunity to share my faith and to show this friend what God's beautiful plan for marriage really looks like.
The first thing that came out of my mouth was that she needed to understand what submission means in God's eyes. And basically, in a 45 minute discussion, what God gave me to give her was this: In a Christian marriage, where the Lord is First and Foremost, and the husband is following the Lord to the best of his abilities, then why would I fear submitting to this godly man? If this man's first priority is the Lord God Almighty, if this man is seeking God's wisdom, courage, grace and mercy, if this man prayerfully considers all decisions and has MY best interests at heart, then why would I not want to submit to that authority with alacrity? It's a win-win situation. I also explained that being submissive does not mean being a doormat, and that most decisions in Christian households are mutually arrived upon. I admitted that submission is not always easy and that sometimes it's almost impossible based on where I am with God. My flesh cries out for recognition and advancement and submission is sometimes a daily fight. I tried very hard not to get "religious" on her because I know that's an immediate door-shutter. She listened. As I spoke, I prayed that God would give her ears to hear what HE had to say on the subject. I also explained that husbands and wives are submissive to one another and that that was the beauty of mutual submission--we prayerfully consider each other as more important than ourselves and love sacrificially. And that THAT kind of love produces all kinds of really awesome responses and feelings.
I must be very honest and say that I continue to struggle with complete submission to my husband. He's flawed, sometimes irreverent, and battles many demons of his own. And I can say that exact sentence about myself. And I've admitted before that I'm a manipulator and withholder-of-love-and-affection if Ron doesn't perform to my expectations. And I'm WORKING so hard on that. Because I really and truly HATE that about myself. But in the last couple years of my marriage, God has shown me what this particular kind of love looks like and He's extended me so much mercy and grace while I fumble along and screw up. And that same mercy and grace should be Ron's from ME as he fumbles along and screws up.
So while the word "submission" sounds out-of-date, old fashioned and just plain scary, the truth is that when it's done in faith to a man who loves Jesus, it's about the most extreme expression of love and trust there is. If you know me at all, you know I've battled with my feminist leanings as I've grown in the Lord. I don't for one minute feel I'm a doormat, a lesser person, a thing of no consequence. I am a bride of Christ, He lives in me and that makes me pretty damn special. I do not feel like I've given up anything in understanding my role as a wife. Quite the opposite...I've expanded my horizons hugely. And Ron has taught me sooooooo much!
Ron has amazed me and humbled me. He has soared the heights lately and been my rescuer and comforter in some very difficult situations. He has taken up the mantle of leadership and absolutely WOWED me. Now there's a guy I can entrust my heart, mind, soul and body to. But the secret here is that I learn to love him even when he backslides and reverts. I get very scared when that Ron shows up, but I trust that God will continue to point us both toward Him--thereby taking the focus off of each other while we mutually submit to a God that is truly concerned about marriage.
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